


Kick it up a Notch

by Reserve Course Writer (ReserveCourseWriter)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Songfic, dee is a bit touchy-feely in the name of intimidation???, it's not really sympathetic deceit. he's more 'asshole with a point', there is One instance of the f word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 00:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18884050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReserveCourseWriter/pseuds/Reserve%20Course%20Writer
Summary: Sure, Deceit might have won the case, but Roman’s ruling on the punishment wouldn’t do... if he was going to convince Thomas to do the right thing, he’ll really need to kick it up a notch with his persuasion tactics... luckily, catchy tunes solve all sorts of problems.





	Kick it up a Notch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosegoldroman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldroman/gifts).



> Deceit is a very, very, very unreliable narrator, his thoughts influencing the narration and he holds a hell of a grudge against Patton so there’s some Patton hate from Dee. 
> 
> Also, I do not own the original Kick it up a Notch song, it is entirely Team Starkid’s and this is just a parody. Here’s a link to the song in case you haven’t heard it, it’s pretty fundamental to the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ6d1uTVG64

“I hereby sentence you-”

“That’s not really necessary, I think now you see that all of this is-”

“-To one day at the St. Clifford’s Chapel on the day of Lee and Mary Lee’s wedding.”

Deceit hissed lowly, his face knotted with frustration and his eyes narrowed in the judge’s direction. “You can’t do that! That’s not how this works!” Roman furrowed his eyebrows, pointing his gavel rather dramatically at the liar. “Too bad, The Lie Who Didn’t Like Musicals, going to the wedding is what’s right.”, and his voice held all of the conviction of someone who’d stood in front of a mirror practicing for hours.

“Ah, back to the nicknames, are we, Your Honour?” The sickly-sweet words dripping off of his own tongue felt like poison in a way that almost made him pity Roman. Almost. The inferno in the pit of his stomach was still burning, bright and true. It fed on justice, and god was it hungry. “So I suppose cold, hard facts aren’t enough to sway you, then?” He arched an eyebrow at the far-away Logan, daring him to speak up before he was spoken over, but just as he saw the logical side open his mouth and lean forward to object and make himself heard, Deceit made sure that he cut him off before he could begin.

“Wait… maybe there’s something I could…” He shoved as much fake-realisation into his voice as he thought was realistic. Really, he had pushed this scenario to the back of his mind, hoping to convince Roman with the whole courtroom gesture, but at least the song he had written wouldn’t go to waste. He did love a bit of theatricality, even if the melody… wasn’t the most original. He snapped his fingers deftly and looked up to Roman. He smirked devilishly, turning the flirt on full-blast. “What do you say we go somewhere a bit more… familiar, ay Roman?”

Even though he was sure Patton and Virgil were protesting somehow, Deceit’s sole focus was on Roman. At his words, Roman looked up, curious, with a certain twinkle in his eye that Deceit wasn’t able to identify. And really, that was all the confirmation he needed to clap his hands and bring them to someplace surely familiar, even to the viewers.

Seconds later, the sides popped into the new environment, each taking their respective places. Patton, in the audience, not sure of what was happening but not liking it either way. Virgil, backstage, in a black turtleneck and the hallmark exhaustion of a techie. Logan, finally a bit more to the forefront now, sitting in front of a book on the history of musical theatre. And finally, Thomas and Roman, standing in the front of the stage, Roman a bit too far to the left to be considered centre-stage, but Thomas caught in the attention.

Finally, Deceit stepped forward from the back of the stage, emerging from a mustard-coloured curtain, taking the time to take in the scene around them, smiling at how everything was in its places. He cleared his throat, drawing all attention to him, and he grinned amicably, making sure the grin was just false enough that the sides knew who they were dealing with. He was not someone you could smile into submission, and they needed to know that if Patton was the one they were letting have the most influence. He opened his mouth to speak, and put on the customer-service voice that he knew Roman would have killed to have been able to do; he always went a bit too far in these things, and all of that bravado he hid behind was proof of that. Really, did he think he was fooling anyone?

“Thomas and those who are not Thomas, I welcome you to a… not quite evening, of entertainment. Please turn off your mobile phones, and may I remind you that no flash photography is allowed. I would tell you to take note of your closest fire exits, but there are none. Wait until intermission before bailing, please, as to do otherwise would be terribly rude. Please, enjoy the show-“

All of a sudden, his suave and debonair voice was interrupted by Virgil, and honestly, could he not, please? However, despite Deceit’s wishes, he did, indeed, speak in his meagre voice. “Yeah, no, I’m not buying it. We’ve reached our conclusion, why do we have to keep-” As Virgil’s outburst continued, Deceit sighed. Really, he had hoped he could just arrive, do his song, convince Thomas and then go back to his room to hug his giant plush snake and let his small, real snake crawl all over his face like the little cutie she was. Instead, it looked like he’d need to expend even more of his energy on this whole plan, just to get Thomas to do what was right for him! God, he had really underestimated how easy it was to be Patton; he was a formidable opponent, if only because of how much everyone else blindly trusted him.

As he zoned back in on the edgy side’s monologue, he lifted his hand swiftly in a familiar motion, Virgil’s once frantically gesticulating hand now slapped over his struggling mouth. Deceit focused back onto the performance. “Now, where were we?” He motioned towards the pit, waiting for his previously-set music to be played, but apparently, even in the mindspace, Alexa decided that it was too good for Deceit to look cool via motion controls, so it decided to be difficult. He huffed to himself, before leaning forward and shoving his face directly into the pit. “Alexa, play Kick It up a Notch instrumental.” The robot in question made a little beeping noise, and the recorded voice of Deceit counting himself in started playing.

The man in question took big strides until he was stood back next to Thomas, walking in time to the voice counting him in, because if you were to sing a show-stoppin’ number, you have to go all out. That’s just common knowledge. As the voice reached ‘one’, he opened his mouth, donning his best silky smooth singing voice, secure in the knowledge that his snake had loved this song.

“Commitments to events! Are they worth all their expense? To miss such a big opportunity!” As he waxed poetic about why friends were overrated, he kept a keen eye on his fellow sides. Well, the other sides were reacting in some way, but Roman… Roman was looking at him with the kind of sceptical curiosity that could really only come from seeing a snake man that you hate but fundamentally agree with performing a musical number tailor made to your interests. He smirked; he could easily win Roman over if he played to his interests. After all, if Roman got riled up enough about something, nothing could stop him. He was Deceit’s key to success, and he knew all of his weaknesses.

“Go to your new arrangements! Forget about those past engagements! Instead, take this lifetime chance to be, ooooon theeeee biiiiig screeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!” As a rogue piano note made itself known, he broke into an easy grin. He could see the cogs turning in Thomas’ head, but they were still bogged down by Patton’s ideology. He sneaked a look over at the side in question; there he was, sat trapped through Deceit’s effort. Good, that was working; Virgil was having a particularly hard time leaving his corner, after all, no matter how hard he tried.

However, no matter whether or not he could move, there was no mistaking his disbelieving face. No doubt he was trying to come up with a way to intervene, but of course, it would be very rude to interrupt a live performance, and so he kept his manipulative mouth shut. Deceit smirked smugly, allowing himself to bask in the joy of everyone’s eyes on him, watching and waiting for his next move. They were finally paying attention, and that was all that mattered.

“Hmm… What do you say you answer the call-back, Thomas?” Deceit arched one of his eyebrows as Thomas furrowed his. “But, we’ve already been through-” And oh, of course, they’d already talked it through once, so what could returning to the topic possibly do for them? Maybe it could, I don’t know, help them reach the correct conclusion now that Patton was out of the equation? But that was just a suggestion, of course, as whatever came out of Deceit’s mouth couldn’t possibly be the right answer, no, that was just preposterous.

“Now listen to me, my confused friend.” He grinned like a particularly friendly shark. “We are friends, after all!” He moved uncomfortably close to Thomas, pulling him into a one-armed hug and booping his nose with a gloved hand, pushing it harshly enough to make it just slightly painful. “I know you have your share of doubts and fears, but this is your chance! You can take charge! Push the limits!” He unconsciously pulled Thomas closer to him, caught up in the idea of Thomas grasping his future with both hands instead lending one to someone else’s.

“You gotta be determined. Persevere! To coin a phrase, act the part!” Deceit chuckled at what he thought was some very humorous wordplay, and he pushed himself away from Thomas, placing his gloved hands on his host’s shoulders and pulling him across from him, facing him head-on, and in that moment, it seemed that he had become a bit taller. Well, about time. He had always seemed to be shorter than the other sides, and it didn’t do anything to help intimidate them.

He looked out into the audience, drinking in Patton’s panicked expression at Thomas’ resolute feelings melting into uncertainty. Good. He needed a bit of competition. He turned back to Thomas, resolve hardening as the backing track picked up speed. Now, it was time for the real show to begin! The preface was over, and now it was time for a song they’d be sure to remember! Well, they’d better. He’d spent a while manipulating multiple songs he’d heard Roman singing recently, and it had taken him and his snake ages to narrow it down to the right choice.

“You’d better kick it up a notch, if you’re ever gonna reach your goal.” He tore his hands from Thomas’ shoulders, deciding that staying stationary wasn’t something that suited this song. Hell, it didn’t particularly suit him – he preferred to be a bit more… touchy-feely. Let whoever you’re persuading never forget that you are there, constantly weighing in on them in a way that they can’t ignore; an arm around a shoulder, a hand on the hip, even just a pat of the head is enough to remind them that you are there, you are real and they will pay attention to you, whether they want to or not.

“You can’t sit around and watch, your destiny is in your control.” As he sang, he walked around Thomas slowly, making sure he was violating his personal space as he did. His steps were slow, measured, almost calculated, making sure that Thomas felt with every inch of his crawling skin that Deceit was nearby, and he wasn’t going away anytime soon. His hand trailed around Thomas’ side, almost purring out the words he was singing, voice as sultry and smooth as possible, keeping his eyes solely on Thomas. Although, for one second, he looked over to Roman, making eye contact as he painted a smirk onto his face, and before he dragged his eyes over to Thomas’ once more, he thought he saw the romantic side blush.

“Go ahead and, kick it up a notch.” Deceit walked out from Thomas, leaving the man to regain some sense of personal space, walking over to stage right, backwards, may he add, which made him like, 10x cooler instantly. His arms were held out beside him, in a ‘what can you do’ pose, but really, what could Thomas do? Deceit knew. Roman knew. Patton knew. Everyone knew what Thomas could do, but no one had the clarity to realise it was right, so it was up to Deceit to stand up for his beliefs. Well, he supposed Roman knew it was right, but under the bravado, he was nothing but a coward, and he planned to use that to his advantage. “If your life is at a level too low…”

All of a sudden, he was at the left side of Thomas, arm around him, running the other hand down the host’s face, taking advantage of his newfound height. Thomas jumped, before looking into Deceit’s eyes, and his ever-present smirk grew wider, this time in the name of real emotion instead of intimidation. This smirk was the culmination of a lifetime of vitriol aimed towards Patton for good reason, a lifetime of being seen as nothing but a villain, a lifetime of being ignored and demeaned and told he was malicious and wrong when he knew he was right – it was all blending into this feeling of contentedness and satisfaction and justice.

“There’s no attempt that you can botch, when all you gotta do is just give it a go!” He creeped ever closer to Thomas, unsettling the man more and more, even going as far as to lay a head on the man’s shoulder, his cheek pressed into the crook of his neck. He sighed dramatically, gesturing towards himself. “But then again, what would I knoooo-ooooo-oo-o-ooow?” He tore himself from the host as if he had been burned, and, in a way, he had been. The feeling of another living, breathing, real person next to his own body was something that he had always wished for, and now he had the chance to do it, he was touching his host like it was nobody’s business, and, in a way, it was. This was between Thomas and Thomas, and no one else was involved in this, be it the more anxious aspect that just dragged everyone down, or the logical side that had always been thrown to the side-lines, and did he even need to mention Patton?

All of a sudden, his hands were on Thomas again, shoving him into a cage that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Thomas flew back, hands flying backwards to catch himself before he flopped onto his back. Deceit lowered himself to Thomas’ level, crouching down to make eye contact and for whatever reason, Thomas couldn’t look away. “What I see right there is a prisoner who’s trapping himself in a cage!” With a snap of a finger, all of a sudden Thomas’ cage was sliding to the back of the stage, allowing Deceit to take centre stage as he looked back to the cage, taking in Thomas’ form as it shakily stood, hands grasping at the bars. The liar had his back turned to the audience. Well, this was never a performance meant for Patton, anyway. He looked over to Roman, still standing on the stage, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but also more intrigued than Deceit had ever seen him. He held a longing in his eyes that Deceit recognised from seeing in the mirror almost every day since he had been formed. This was his chance for a better life, and all it took was a little nudge from Deceit to do it.

Deceit went from looking at Roman to looking with him. He locked eyes with the fanciful side, the side of dreams, the only side that, in Deceit’s opinion, had ever had his priorities straight. Well, not straight straight. Deceit had had enough pretending to be that for a lifetime. “Kick it up a notch, if you want that silver stage!” Roman’s eyes glimmered in recognition, considering the snake’s offer more and more by the second. Who knew it could be so easy to make someone do something they really want to do?

“Well, being in a movie would be really cool…” Roman started, eyes darting towards the sides that were not the most important one, as if trying to tread lightly, and oh, how sad was that? Thomas’ hopes, his dream, his deepest fantasies and what makes him happy, were being constantly bogged down time and time again by the other sides to the point of trying not to upset them, even if it meant missing out on a lifetime opportunity like this. Stepping on a few people’s toes was worth it if it meant Thomas’ whole life could change for the better.

“It would, wouldn’t it! Thomas, in an Alfred Hitchcoppolucas movie! He could kick-start his whole career!” “But, Mary Lee and Lee-” And oh, how nice for Patton to get involved! The one time Deceit got to speak, Patton just had to be a part of it. He couldn’t stay quiet for two seconds without getting involved, and that was dangerous. His influence could make or break Thomas’ life, and Deceit wasn’t going to let him break it.

Deceit was going to need a little extra firepower if he wanted to win Roman and Thomas over. He knew he was going to feel it in the morning, but it was worth it if everything went according to plan. He snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden, Virgil and Logan were rising from their places, not of their own volition if one was to believe the panicked look in their eyes (which they should), and they met Roman at centre stage, Deceit having stepped back to Thomas’ cage to lean on the bars and watch the show.

All three sides moved in unison, dancing to the beat of the music from Alexa and all donning simple smiles onto their faces, swaying eerily side to side, Roman’s grin more realistic than the others. This is why they stayed on the side-lines; they weren’t good actors in the slightest. But hell, he needed to prove a point, and if the chorus had to come in to back him up, so be it.

Deceit locked eyes with Patton and made the manipulative side clap a hand over his own mouth. Sure, it wasn’t necessary, and he was already expending too much energy as it was, but it was more than a gesture to shut Patton up; it was a show of power. This was Deceit’s turf, and he had to make sure Patton knew that before he got cocky again. He coyly placed a finger over his finger in a gesture of silence, eyes turning to the sides dancing in the centre of the stage.

As he did, they opened their mouths and began to sing, an eerie lilt adopted by their voices, each voice a different octave but ultimately in the same key. “All you gotta do is kick it up a notch, to dig yourself out of this hole! You wanna have the things you want? Then you gotta give that dice a roll!” They all smirked in unison, Logan and Virgil’s face blankly smiling while their eyes screamed for out, but Roman’s… Roman’s face was much more interesting. He had never seen anyone more conflicted, and he had watched Thomas realise he was gay. On the outside, it seemed he was thankful for this opportunity to get Thomas to do the right thing, but there was a certain tension to his eyebrows, smile not quite right and eyes aflame with doubt. Deceit pouted; that wouldn’t do. He sighed as he expended even more energy to push the choreography and lyrics into Roman, overtaking his mind with the smooth music of Starkid.

It worked. Roman’s face lit up, no longer hampered by doubt and fear for what the other sides will think, mind whirring with ideas of how this could positively influence Thomas’ whole life. Deceit looked smugly at Thomas as the man tried to grapple with what was going on, why he was being overwhelmed by hopes and dreams. All of a sudden, the cage hit Deceit’s moving fist, the energy rebounding through it and unbalancing Thomas as it did. The man fell to the floor, this time staying down as he sat, fearfully looking between the dancing sides. Roman stepped towards Thomas’ cage, sliding down to the host’s height as he crouched on the floor, voice buttery-smooth as he reached out to caress Thomas’ cheek.

“Kid, kick it up a notch! What’s the point of less when there is more?” Roman sang in a falsetto Deceit didn’t know he had, and he stood back up, yanking Thomas’ face up as he did, hand still holding onto his cheek and forcing the host to stand up. Logan and Virgil approached from behind, and as Roman made way for them, they bounced to the sinister beat. It had taken so damn long to create a backing track by ear – he’d gone to the effort of learning the piano, for hell’s sake! Thomas had better appreciate this – hell, Roman had better appreciate this. Logan sang next, voice as deep as Virgil liked to think he was. “Forget about friends.” Virgil cut in next, meagre voice having graduated to singing instead of just angstily hating Deceit. “They just let you watch, so when opportunity knocks at your door, you let it in and then you-” “Reach out for more!” All three sang at the same time surrounding Thomas’ cage and leaning in close enough for Thomas to be immensely uncomfortable. Never let them forget you’re there.

Finally, the one, the only, Deceit the magnificent took his rightful place in the spotlight once more as he sang, snapping his fingers and popping the other sides back to their places as the liar made himself known once more. “Life is short so before it’s over, take a chance and think it through!” He moved away from the cage only to move closer to sing the next line, and if he did a spin on his way back, that was nobody’s business but his own. “You better kick it up a notch, it’s the human thing to do!” His voice reached a peak at the end, and where he had previously planned a euphoric laugh, he fell silent. A man on the brink of tears shouldn’t be one to laugh, it’s never convincing. It’s not like he was getting worked up about this, or anything, it’s just that his Patton allergies were acting up.

“It’s a big, big world out there… So many weddings, are they all worth attending?” He scowled, shoving as much vitriol into his voice as he could, aiming his next words directly at the still-mute Patton. “Stop pretending.” He turned back to Thomas, voice softer but still angry and passionate. “It’s your life.” His voice went even softer, voice wistful and filled with awe. “What an invention… Life…” He grabbed onto one of the bars, hand inside the glove shaking with the intensity of which he was doing so. “There is some choice involved in what life you’re livin’!”

He turned so both hands were grasping the bars, voice raised to a shout as he screamed out in desperation. “You’re your own person, take what you’re given!” He coughed awkwardly, removing his hands from the bars and straightening his tie. “B-but” He took a deep breath, calming himself down as he did. “You wanna be a good person… or is that really what you want?” He raised an eyebrow doubtfully, making eye contact with his host as he towered over the man. “You wanna be in that movie? Well this might be your one and only shot!”

He turned away from the cage, letting the shadow the harsh stage lighting cast upon the floor speak for itself as he gesticulated grandly, looking in Roman’s direction but not quite at him. “You could go to the wedding, sitting sullen and depressed, or you could reach out and grab all you’ve ever wanted! All I ask is that you do what you’ve always truly wanted!” At that, he looked Roman in the eyes, the conflict evident on his face, but it looked like he was winning, shaking loose of the other side’s debilitating grasp. Deceit let himself show a small smile, one that would have been much larger if he hadn’t been under the pretence of composure. He turned back to the host, looking him right in the eyes, noticing that the man had his mind made up. He took the key to the cage out of his pocket and dangled it on a string for the man to grab. “So Thomas, what do you say?”

“I... I…”

He took it.

“I think I’ll kick it up a notch! I can take control of my own life!” “That’s the spirit! Make them be the ones to watch, how ‘bout that?” Their voices melded together, united in the fire of righteousness, ignorant of anyone who would dare drag them down. “Who are they to deprive us of wanting to-”  The lyrics split off for both of them, but their voices still sang as one, overlapping each other and drowning out any protests as Thomas opened the door to the cage and stepped out steadfastly. “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “Kick it up a notch, never give yourself reason to doubt!” “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “You gotta strike it while it’s hot, ‘cause that’s what livin’s all about!” “I’m gonna make my life damn better!” “My dear Thomas, time the lights went out!”

All of a sudden, they stopped, Thomas having migrated to the other side of the stage. He waved to Deceit and smiled. “Well, I’ll see you around, Deceit. Thanks.” And he said it so sincerely, that for a genuine minute, Deceit believed it. “Oh, uh- you’re- you’re welcome, Thomas.” Thomas left the courtroom with a snap of his own fingers, and it was then that Deceit sobered up. Suddenly, the aches and pains that came with using that much of his energy came ploughing into him, and even though he would like nothing more than to collapse into bed, it was time for one more victory dance.

“That’s not what he wants!” It seems that with pain came the loss of all of Deceit’s power, for Patton was making his way onto the stage as Logan and Virgil exchanged looks that just screamed ‘I have no idea what the hell to do so now I’m looking at you I guess.’ In Patton’s haste to get onto the stage, he stepped on Alexa, the backing track jumping as the hardware was damaged, so like, Patton, what the fuck? Those cost money, and unless he intends to pay Deceit back with that one dollar that Deceit knows was taken from him, Patton doesn’t have any money! He’d better at least leave a bouquet of flowers Deceit’s door, maybe a card if he was pushing his luck.

Deceit scowled, but whether it be at Patton’s words, Patton interrupting him or Patton stepping on his goddamn Alexa was to be speculated. “No, no, he’s told us what he wants! Break out the good clothes, boys! Soon, we act again!” He laughed evilly, hoping to strike fear into the hearts of Pattons everywhere, looking over to Roman to find him giggling along, giddy with the idea of working with Alfred Hitchcoppolucas. Deceit beamed and walked over to him, offering a hand in dance to the creative side. Roman took it in his fervor, and soon, Deceit was ballroom dancing with the fanciful side, consciously trying to ignore Patton, and, more importantly, make Roman ignore him.

He opened his mouth, his voice still as smooth and sultry as always despite how utterly exhausted he was. “Kick it up a notch, oh my plan is all about to unfold.” He spun Roman under him, Roman’s grin widening as he did. “Let’s put a twist into this plot. Tom, go forth, do everything that I’ve told ya.” As he sang the next line, Roman joined in (good) but so did Patton (very bad). “When we kick it up a notch…” “It’s worse for his friends!” Ah, there goes Patton, always so sure that his answer is the right one. Really, this must be good for him. He needed to be taken down a peg. Either way, Roman joined Deceit in protesting him, and oh, wasn’t that delicious? “But best for me!”

Roman held a note as Deceit went on to sing, both still dancing, but at some point, Roman was swapped for Patton, and now Deceit was holding onto Patton’s hands too tight, spinning him just a bit too wildly and accidentally stepping on his toes several times. “I’m gonna let our guy, once lost, be everything he’s wanted to be! Truly because I know he’s actually…” A wild spin, Patton left grasping for his bearings as Deceit wouldn’t stop spinning him.

“Make his life for the best, who cares about pleasing the rest?” Roman joined his song of victory. “Oh Thomas, I promise a treat!” Return to a solo, the liar’s voice gravelly as he could make it, finally letting Patton be as the ‘moral’ side walked away, shaken. “Let’s kick it up a notch.” “Kick it up a notch…” Roman chimed in, standing next to Deceit as he pulled Patton back one last time for a dip.

“So at last he’ll know what he needs!”

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my broski Logan for cheering me along and yelling with me!!!!! love u bro
> 
> All kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! It's been a while since I wrote fanfic, so I'd like to hear y'all's thoughts on how I did!


End file.
